The Side Effects of Social Media

Did you miss me? Tell me, what exactly did you miss? I used to be a dickhead and ask that question whenever someone would say “omg I missed you!” It usually threw them off guard and they’d fumble over the words, trying to find something to say. But don’t worry, you don’t have to answer that, I’d just like to say I’m backkkkkkkkkkkkkk*!

Bloating, black stools, burping hiccups that don't let up, nausea, wheezing, dry cough, hoarseness, or chronic sore throat. All side effects of acid reflux, which I typically get when I lay down on my couch after eating (don’t do this) while scrolling on social media! Understandably, it was time to address my problem…I deactivated my Instagram page (disappeared from Youtube and kelsleynicole.com) for 28 days and I’m here to tell you what I’ve learned!

 Maybe I’m biased. I work as a social media specialist, I’m a Youtuber, both creator and supporter, and I’m an “influencer.” I’d say most of my day is spent of social media, and in a way that is usually positive so naturally, I’m a big FAN. But I’ve noticed that social media tends to get a bad rap. While we all consume a copious amount of it, some people say that it has ruined this generation. I try to remain a little more optimistic when it comes to this matter. I think social media is a great thing, and I still think that even after my hiatus but I realized something had changed.

 The question I had to ask myself was, are you in the driver seat of this thing or the passenger seat? A daily dose of metaphors people. MY MEANING: Are you using these platforms in a way that can benefit you, in a way in which YOU are in control? OR is your life controlled and dependent on what’s happening on your social media platforms? My answer was the latter which stemmed from two of the not so great side effects of social media—comparison, and validation, lack thereof.

“Cause it makes you chase what's not meant to be chased, cause you've possessed it all along, It comes to steal and hide what is real—Comparison kills.” – Jonathan McRecnolds

 I was comparing myself often and I wasn’t feeling validated. In my time away I realized these were caused by deeper issues (which they often are) but they were being exasperated by social media. Now I know sometimes it’s almost inevitable to NOT compare yourself to what appears to be perfect online, which is why I’d like to share some practical tips on how NOT to fall into the trap.

 Each platform is designed for a purpose. Instagram is all about the visuals, Pinterest is all about inspiration, Twitter is for the witty and sarcastic and Facebook is a little bit of everything. My best advice, find balance.

Feeling bad about yourself because you set a goal to workout 3x a week and it ends up being 3x a month, yet Noname (pronounced no-nam-eyy) just posted a picture of her 15 pack on Instagram? Go on Pinterest! Find inspiration on how to get motivated and stay motivated to workout OR even a few home workouts you can try. I’m speaking to myself here my friends, LA Fitness has made so much money off of me!

Everyone is updating their relationship statuses to “engaged” on Facebook? Get lost in a Twitter thread with endless video clips from the Office.   Don’t spend too much time on just one platform, you have options, so spread yourself out.

 Sidenote: Instagram now lets you pick a time for a reminder of when you’ve been on it too long. Mine is set for an hour! One day I definitely maxed that out without one hour of my alarm going off but I’m making progress for sure!

Now on to validation. While this is surely going to hurt micro-influencers like myself, I do see what Instagram is trying to do by removing likes. Number of likes = validation for so many people and it started to for me as well. Not because I only thought highly of myself when I got a ton of likes on a photo, but more so from the branding perspective. Being a micro-influencer and knowing how important engagement is to brands I was starting to feel as if I wasn’t creating worthwhile content causing my overall engagement to be consistent. Funny enough, earlier in the year I stopped heavily focusing on it and from there my rate skyrocketed, but I wanted to get to a place where I wasn’t holding my breath waiting for likes.

Remember those deeper issues I referenced, here’s one—confidence, as mine has certainly been fragile this year. The key to confidence isn’t singing praises about how great you think you are 24/7, it’s learning not to care so much for the people who don’t see that greatness. Basically, not letting the world, friends, people, society change how you view yourself. If you feel that you look bomb in that photo with your high-waisted jeans and sassy top, hold onto that confidence after you post. Remind yourself what it was that made you wanna post the picture, instead of how many people liked it. And to be honest, some people probably didn’t even see it yet due to the ever-changing algorithm.

If you’ve made it thus far, congratulations! I hope this sticks to you like yellow-orange on Spanish rice. And please know that I get it, while these tips are practical, some days (usually days near Mother Nature for me) it’s hard to not be affected negatively by social media, but push through! You are somebody important to this world, show them that, believe that and embrace it!

*Fun fact: Since it’s wedding week for my beautiful cousin Christina I figured I’d shout out a group nickname that my cousin, her older brother, Jason gave us and how it worked perfectly. Christina’s older, but the younger brother of Jason was named Brandon. My puppy brother who is older than Christina was named Wellesley, but I didn’t know that until he was like 7 because we call him Aaron. Christina’s name is obviously Christina, and my name is Kelsley (the youngest out of this bunch). Jason, who got tired of calling us all by name decided to come up with the nickname BACK, Brandon, Aaron, Christina, and Kelsley! How perfect is that because the acronym also follows our age order.